the good shepherd, a ramble

Reflecting upon my time at a daycare with 3 year olds, I recalled some things about them that ring true about man’s walk with God. -Still learning how to govern themselves, how to be a person, how to reconcile what’s going on inside and what’s required of them, How to do what they must and should, in order to (quite unknowingly in a ‘big-picture’ sense) become the people they are going to be. As a care-taker, you are the shepherd, and they are the herd.

In the playroom, where life is most about what the children want in the moment, the most basic human tendency with God can be found: when hurt befalls you, don’t turn to the authority for judgment and justice; instead, take retribution and all matters into your own hands without a second thought… until after, that is, when they start to cry and go to the authority. Then you’re in trouble. With all the reminders in the world, it takes years, if it ever takes to them at all, to get the idea through that going to the authority over all things first is the best way to go; the most beneficial, and practical. In our weakness, God is strong, and there’s not many times where you feel more weak than when you are outright ‘pushed down’ in a way that frightens and embarrasses you and let’s you know that you are thought lowly of; it’s a blow to your pride. But we fight back, of course. We put down the insurrection against our personal power and eminence in our own little world; not to is to resign to hurting and perceived failure and ‘to let them win’. But who are they and why are they so important to us? What difference does it make that TJ called you a doodie-head, or that Kaitlyn pulled your hair? Why is it such an offense?

As a child, what’s important to us.. is us; ‘me’, ‘I’, ‘myself’, and whomever can make ‘me’ feel good. Never mind that the others are just as much people as I am a person; they have thoughts, and wants, and needs and feelings of there own. No, never mind that.

As an adult, what’s important to us..? I think far too often, it’s very little more than what is important to us as children. I, me… feel good.. prove yourself.. take control..

Let’s take a side-trip:

‘It’s your life, you do what you want with it.’ -Familiar sentiment? In actuality, much of your life is doing what other people want you to do, and that’s not talking just about those who are ‘human doormats’, so to speak; it’s everyone. At the simplest level, a typical person lives under some set of laws or values and they adhere to them. ‘Well, that’s because I want to,’ you may say. But you also adhere to them when you don’t want to, so what then? -You want what you don’t want? No, I’d say that you are definitely doing what you want when you don’t follow the values that you are under, because that’s called ‘rebellion’, and that’s what you want. Ascribe whatever connotations to that word that you want, but at the core of it’s meaning, and at the core of you, you want it. ‘Why would you want that?’ you may ask. I’ll tell you: because you’re all about you. The simplest way I can illustrate without hashing out the minutiae is this: again, everyone is under a value system. The values/laws you find yourself under, ascribe as necessary for yourself, or that have been placed upon you are one of two things: either they are the authority themselves, the rules, that is, whether you assigned them to yourself or they just are for some reason, or they are an expression of the authority that someone else has over you. When you purposefully break the rules that you set, or just are, you broke them out of defiance because hey, you want what you want, and no rule is gonna tell you what to do when you can decide how to govern yourself, right? Wrong. Rebellion governs yourself, because even self-made rules to govern yourself are broken willfully, and so not even you are your own true authority; the concept of rebellion is, though, in all its forms; it is the most consistent attribute of mankind that can be seen by all the world.

Back to the other thing that values can be, though: the expression of another person’s authority over you. Well that’s obvious, because when you willfully break a rule, that’s rebellion against the person who set the rules up. You may say ‘Not necessarily so. I may like the person, just not the rules,’ but the rules are an expression of the person who set them up, and so to reject the rules is to reject the maker of the rules.

Most often, rebellion is key in who we are when no one else is looking. It’s hard-wired into our system… at least, for now.

But, I digress.

Back to the children:

We have all kinds of cute names or phrases for kids’ rebel tendencies: ‘testing their boundaries’, ‘little stinker’, ‘boys will be boys’, etc. But we have different names for adults: ’slacker’, ‘jerk’, ‘delinquent’, ‘criminal’… We, as adults, separate ourselves from childhood purposefully with very obvious subtleties like these names, but I think a major problem with today’s adult culture is that we’re still just big children and not really set apart as adults; our minds aren’t so much different, they just have more words and experience twisting and conniving; finding ways to rebel and cover for it.

I would digress again, but the original thought has lost it’s way in all this commentary and philosophy.

Following rules, yes…

So we all live our lives by doing mostly what others want us to do: parents tell us, books tell us, media tells us, God tells us, government tells us… in light of this, it’s a wonder that so many people in America reject the idea of doing what God has planned over what anyone else wants us to do and label it as narrow minded. We already follow what others want us to do as a way of life, it’s a short step over to ‘God has had a plan all along, and so here we are, still in his plan, doing what he wants us to do’ -or we should be, anyway. But then again, there’s that rebellion thing. Reject authority, do it yourself, do what you want except when you don’t want it anymore.

Subject change:

What if the reason why the world really doesn’t get ‘religious’ people is because they shift their focus to something else besides themselves? What if people who love and seek after God are the only ones that really place their lives into someone else’s hand and stop being all about themselves and rebelling all the time and then are free enough (in their lack of rebellion, mind you) to care about another person’s life above their own? -Like a parent to a child. What if that’s why? What if the promise that we will be slowly transformed into the likeness of Christ is, in a way, transforming us into the few parents among hundreds of millions of children? -The shepherd’s to the sheep. What if we made this calling our own, and dealt with it?

Disclaimer: I am not so entirely pessimistic about all these things. I believe that there is love, in all people; adult and child. I think that you can have genuine concern for another human being at any stage in life. I just think that a person will always care about self more than the others (unless there’s divine intervention), and that, as evidence, society teaches us so. I think it’s human nature to value self above all else. Which one do you think is this society’s and humanity’s message: ‘I am most important’, or ‘My place is second or third or less, regardless’?

a tattooed consciousness

Even the most highly regarded modern symbols of independence and individuality hold close ties to age-old patterns, traditions, and yearnings. It is time we speak of tattoos.

The ritual of choice for the youth today: tattoos. The messages involved: ‘I own me’, ‘Here’s my freedom’, ‘At least something about me will have meaning’, ‘I don’t care/nothing matters’… there’s all kinds of momentary reasons people get tattoos. There are all kinds of enduring reasons, as well. In any case, there’s a common root, in my observations, that all the reasons (at their core, anyway) share: permanence. There’s a seriousness about a tattoo that drives it up to the top of the list of ways to declare a thing. It’s permanent. It’s a statement.

However, it’s far more often a way for younger adults and teens to express their seriousness (or lack there of, and their seriousness about not being serious) about anything, than for more adult adults. Much of this, I think, is due to a tattoo’s immediate gratification of this desire; leading, variably, to regrets later, though not necessarily. Young people are typically more likely to make quick decisions and act upon them than older and wiser people. There are a lot of reasons why that is, but I won’t go into detail about it now.

From my perspective, which all of this is anyway… Older people don’t see the need to get a tattoo like younger people do because they don’t serve much of a purpose. The people who see them don’t often benefit from them; those who have them don’t, either. The statements that are made by them often either don’t last in intensity or value, and the views or feelings expressed by them are not only often temporary, but are better expressed through the way a person lives their life. Nothing is really said about a person by putting a symbolic picture on them about a thing, but rather, the observation of that thing’s effect on their life is far more potent and tangible than an ever-fading drawing which will one day sag and disfigure with old age. In as much as tattoos amount to little more than words or ideas, I think these things are more or less true and should be regarded before any tattoo purchase. However, being a person with tattoos that I do not regret and of the mindset that my tattoos even have a purpose, I must explain myself further. Especially since I still entertain the idea that more tattoos would be a desirable thing for myself.

A more youthful look at things, perhaps, but mine, none the less:

A tattoo, like anything, needs a purpose; a meaning; a reason to be and to continue to be. A momentary reason won’t do since that won’t provide for a continuing reason to be in existence. A shallow reason won’t do, either. No, there needs to be a damn good reason to get a tattoo, and frankly, if not a damn good one, then a dramatic realization of what a tattoo is: an everlasting decoration that will never change and will follow you into all situations, occasions, and events, up to, and including, a change of mind/direction/preference. Think of it like this: you’re picking out wall paper for the rest of your life, choose wisely.

Anyway, a tattoo, to me, can indeed say something, and echo it through life until death, but only in accompaniment with a person’s corresponding lifestyle, which continues to proclaim the same message. When that lifestyle ceases to be, then the tattoo becomes nothing but a reminder of the past, always; for better or worse.

My tattoos deal with and express the timeless and important truths of my faith.  I’ve resolved, in fact, that all my tattoos will have significance that lasts beyond my 20’s, 30’s, etc; beyond my youth.  Love for family and my God are my main themes, and no tattoo that revolves around anything else has lasted as an appealing thought, nor would I accept them as a choice if they did; I’m simply all too aware of my fickle nature.

Another thing about my tattoos: they open up conversations about Jesus with others whom I would have no other immediate way to bring up the subject with.  Whether it’s a passive remark or a direct question, I wear my faith on my sleeve.  (or just under it)

So then, my closing statements:

In my observations of why people get tattoos, I far too often find that momentary infatuations influence a decision more than timeless values.  For this reason, I support those tattoo artists who are selective beyond drunk/not drunk in who they will service with a chosen decoration.

Much like belly button rings, tattoos are most certainly NOT for everyone, but hey, it’s never too late to invest in some timeless values like love, faithfulness, a servant heart, and an intelligent/thoughtful pursuit of an infinite God.  If God’s not infinite, he’s not God; he’s finite.  And nothing finite is worth the long-haul.

Side thought:  If God has a person-hood, then God has a characteristic way of being, this does not necessarily limit God, then, in ability, but in willingness.  It’s not ‘can God?’, but ‘would God?’.

the kids make me wonder

Discipline.  My father was crazy, and I feel like the father of this house is too lax on a lot of things.  I understand that my patience is nowhere near where it should be, but kids need enforced, consistent, boundaries.  Then again, there’s this element of childhood called ‘fun’ that comes mostly in the things that kids do outside of most of the usual boundaries placed around them… no screaming indoors, play with your toys anywhere and everywhere and never worry about putting them up, make the biggest mess you can, and never do anything that would distract you from your thought process of what you want to do; i.e.: responsibilities.  Responsibilities including:  washing your hands after going to the bathroom, after eating and getting the food all over you, and after playing with or petting the smelliest dogs in America; picking up your excessive amount of toys after playing with half of them in the living room for five seconds; and others.

Sometimes I feel like people raise their kids as their own little social experiment; then get tired of all the hassle and just default to whatever is easiest for them at the time.

I am a fan of steady discipline and responsibility being placed on a child older than 6, especially since that’s when school starts for real.  I don’t think the child should be made to never get to do what they want, but they can’t be given the run of the house, nor should they be able to slip the rules all the time whenever the parent thinks ‘it’s cute’ or the parent just gets tired of dealing with it.  However, I am a man, and my own father was angry at the drop of a hat with everything, so maybe I’m wrong in my current thoughts on children; I’m not opposed to that idea.  I know I still have a lot to learn and that actually having children is different than dealing with someone else’s.

Still, I’ve seen children behave in all kinds of ways that really makes me wonder what their home life was like, and that’s mostly with 3 year olds.  The girls I live with are 7 and 9 and I still wonder sometimes.  Their behavior, aside from the more obvious mental capacities, is almost the same.  A lot of times that bothers me a little.  From all my observations, the parents treat them both about the same, though the older does have some dyslexia and is behind a grade, supposedly.  I think she should be in the third grade, and not fourth.

This family is very much a blessing on me, because I get a rare opportunity to observe and play a very small part in a family other than my own (which practically is non-existent compared to this one, in terms of togetherness, closeness, etc.) Its not the most ideal family, but no family is, I think.  I’d love to rewind the clock and be an invisible observer of the Drew family.  This family, though, is full of grace and kindness.  God bless them.  Please give the father a job, and please strengthen the parents.  Please be honored openly in this house, and strengthen the parents relationship to you that their children might see it and know you.  God be praised, in Jesus’ name.