a brief repose

I suddenly realized this morning that I have a lot of reading to do and not much time to do it in.  ‘Spring break’ is all too short and not very breaky when you have work and homework along with it.  I went to see the Vanhorns, though, and had a lovely time.  I didn’t ever feel like I was intruding upon them, which is a testament to their flexibility and kindness.  I borrowed Jacob’s bike and toured a little of the greenbelt, and got to check out a few of the local south Austin ‘restaurants’ and coffee joints.  South Austin is really cool!  There are lots of interesting looking, and young, people around and the hilly land is just nice.  It’s pretty different from north Austin, which is more like the suburbs that we’re used to around Dallas.

I think the part I appreciated most about the trip was that I had a place to go and be welcome, though I had never been there before, and that while I was there I didn’t feel lonely.  It felt a little more like the world should feel to a person.  (Thanks to a uniting Savior and loving brothers and sisters in Christ)

Back to my corner of the world, though, and pressing on through the decisions and pressures that lie therein.

To whom it may concern:  You can be praying for the Vanhorn’s ministry in Austin; that they would find those who seek the Lord in their church planting efforts, and that their marriage would continue to be strengthened and sanctifying through Christ.  I know that Jacob, as a former pastor of mine, has a huge heart and has nothing but a mind to reach  Austin for Christ and see the gospel redeem so much hurting and suffering.  Pray that his wife, Christie, doesn’t go stir-crazy looking after the kids at home.  I haven’t known her for very long, but in my limited experience with her she is a wonderful lady.  They have two children: a two year-old boy named Caleb who is an experience unto himself, and a 7 week old daughter that has the hiccups 6 hours a day.  They’re both awesome and a lot of fun.

moment to moment

It seems to me, Jesus, that it’s those who turn affairs and hopes and purpose over to you that find the greater strength to press on and continue. -In my more lucid moments, anyway. Some have married; many of the very important ones have; and I seem drawn to back to that place where I know people… more importantly to me, though: they know me; or they did, at least. Time draws on, and in the drawing I wonder: ‘To what end? And to what purpose?’ To what greater light, that I should presently forget all but the fading memory of light; it’s warmth, clarity, goodness; for the time being? It seems that in requiring my life of me, you shall do just that, and, a bit ashamed, I admit my reticence. I can’t see the point of building so much in one place just to let it go so soon, but I’m finite, I know, and it affects my every thought. It pains me to try to let go; especially while being so close. Every now and again I catch wind of a happening, or I am called back to ‘visit’, which usually does little more than further mark the separation. I may have to truly cut off the time and redefine existence in order to be a healthier person and a stronger worker. It just doesn’t feel safe to close off that place where life was first shown to me, and where I hear of life, still, on occasion. My places of habitation now seem far more dangerous; I fear that I might slowly dissipate into the average of my surroundings, and it’s a real danger. I fear isolation; yet, in my ’sickness for familiarity, I push myself further and further into my small world. The realization is: this is a time of aloneness when utilized to it’s full extent. The time for study takes precedence over conversation or social development. God how I wish I was taught more while growing up. It’s all so foreign to me now. So much has to be covered so quickly.

Well, I guess that’s that, then. Had dinner, played with the girls. Now for some Star Trek. Peace be with you. Onward, Jesus.