a little sobering

Well, last night we partied and today Josh left.  He should be landing in Mombasa around 4pm tomorrow.  Living with Josh, I have to say, it was a bit surreal when he left today, and I looked on while he disappeared into the bowels of the airport with the same disconnected (yet highly focused) stare that children sometimes give when they are being made to wait and something moves around a little enough to catch their eye but not pique their interest.  Maybe that’s a little too much description for standing around until your friend gets through security.

It’s just an odd thought that Josh won’t be around to talk to or hang out with for 3 months.  Looks like life’s just gonna keep on going, too.  Hmm…

This might all seem odd to me because I haven’t had much to eat today and my friend just left town for more than a few days, and the physical effects of not eating can effect mood/perception/thought-life.  Or, it might be that while I’ve been working through not being co-dependent I’ve come to a place where I’m not going to get emotionally worked up over a change in my daily/weekly relationships and I’ll just miss my absent friend.  …Analysis inconclusive.

On the way home last night, me and Josh put our math skills together and came up with 4 years.  Most of the people at the dinner party last night have all known each other between 2.5 to 4 years.  While most of you who may read this can now count decades with certain friends, 4 years is still a pretty good amount of time to know people.  So many changes have happened, and slowly, people are moving in more definitive directions.  Some aren’t, sure, but many are, and some are set (for now) in a path they’d like to follow for the rest of their lives.  Wow!  That is such a foreign concept to me..  The flavor of this season for me (for activities): collecting backpacking gear, researching camping/backpacking subjects, a little rock climbing and so far that’s it.

Lessons I’m in the process of learning/applying:

• the value of learning how to do a thing well. (i.e. my job, a specialized degree, friendship, etc.)
• continually returning to live a lie does more than stunt personal growth, it negates previous lessons learned that were once second nature to my thoughts and practices
• patience can only be applied well with wisdom
• nothing happening in life doesn’t necessarily mean that something has gone wrong or that I’m not doing what I’m supposed to do, in general.  though it does likely mean that there’s been a change:  either the next step has arrived and it means a course change ( a rethinking of the way things are done ), or my thinking has gone off in becoming too narrow, self-focused, or closed off.  [[this is truly a battle to explore and cope with]]
• start really freaking early when you want to save up for something and make preparations and you don’t have a well-paying job.
• roll with the punches – the most relearned lesson of all time…  possibly only out-matched by ‘think before you speak… and even then, maybe don’t say anything’
• life goes on.. and God doesn’t disappear.
• a person can’t take a break from being the person they are.  no, that’s called change.

Now, onto the nights most likely festivities:  Pizza and a couple of sci-fi movies!  Man, I love imaginative escapism.